Explanations
by marianna
Summary: Just an alternate to the first episode's bus I'll miss you scene. The Author's Note is gone, and in it's place is a brand spanking new chapter. I really hope you give this story another chance!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I of course am in no way affiliated with _Veronica Mars_. I just love it so.

A/N: I was just hit with inspiration; this is set in the first episode of the new season.

"I'll miss you." He whispers, and her world positively spins. She blinks, and though she can feel Duncan's hand on her forearm tightening slightly, she can't quite bring herself to move. Their eyes have caught and held, and there is so much she wants to say, but Duncan's burgeoning presence stops her. She lets herself be pulled along onto the bus, her eyes still caught with his as she walks back to her new life.

"I have to-," She mumbles incoherently as she clumsily turns, crashing into Duncan's downy smelling chest. She runs her fingers through her hair, gazing up at him, trying without words to express her emotions. "I'll be right back." Standing on her tiptoes, she brushes her lips against his and smiles tightly, hurrying off the bus. "Logan!" She calls out, turning a corner and stopping him dead. He turns, his shock tangible and thick, his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip.

"What do you want, Veronica; to break up with me again? Or ooh, did the bus not run? Maybe you can accuse me of tampering with its insides." She frowns at his words, taking a step closer, her hand reaching out to touch his arm. As her fingers brush the material of his shirt, he flinches. "What're you doing?" He asks, and everything about him is cold. She stands back with an attitude of being stung.

"I don't…I don't even know. I'm sorry I bugged you." She mutters, turning slowly and heading back towards the bus.

"Wait, Veronica. Why did you get off the bus?" Her shoulders tighten and fall in a deep exhalation of breath mingled with a shrug.

"I don't know. I don't want it to end this way, Logan." He can't contain the cynical laugh that is ripped from his throat.

"You _broke up with _me. You didn't believe in me; in _us_. And the kicker? You start dating the guy who was _supposed to be_ my best friend. Or I guess the person who was my best friend. Before my father killed his sister, anyway." His tone is flat and passionless, and she closes her eyes in anguish.

"Logan, you were hurting yourself. I just didn't-"

"You didn't what, Veronica? Didn't want to put some work in? Or you didn't want to be the girl dating the guy whose father killed Lilly Kane." She stiffened again, started to protest, but his voice stifled her words. "Come on, you know, I'm just _dying_ for an explanation." He starts to walk away, his anger so hot that she can feel it from where she stands.

"I don't have one." She's looking down at her hands, biting her lip, anything to keep her from looking at him. She can't handle the pain she knows will be in his eyes.

"Then why?" Suddenly, he's closer than he's been in weeks, and his presence overwhelms her. She looks up, and she's lost in his eyes.

"Logan-I-we-we can't do this." She whispers, as he bends his head closer to her.

"I know," He murmurs as his hands come up and cup her face, giving her every opportunity to break free. "I love you, Veronica." He murmurs as his lips brush against hers.

A/N 2: So yeah. I really needed to write what would've happened, if Veronica had done what I needed her to do, gotten off that damn bus, and kissed Logan. Because I love them. And they belong together. I hope you liked it, and you'll tell me if you want me to continue.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_; although I think all of my angst would be completely dissipate if I did. Man, that would nice. Haha.

"Did this backseat get roomier, or is it just me?" There is a slight smile in her voice, and relief courses through him at the fact that she's trying. _Keep it light, Echolls_, he warns himself unable to keep from looking at her.

"It could be because we're not getting attacked by crazed bikers." He replies deadpan, cutting off her response as he leans forward and takes her lips for a kiss. They're down against the seats; he's settled above her, his lips and hands roaming everywhere. And just for a second he lets himself wonder why she's here with him. Why she's letting him touch her. Her timid glance, however, and the fact that there's a light blush across her cheeks, stops him. He knows it won't end well. It can't. But as he kisses her again, he doesn't think. It's time they finally got their goodbye.

He wakes first, the dark surprising him. It takes a second for him to garner his surroundings, and her head, nestled against his chest shocks him to the core. "Veronica," He whispers slightly, enjoying the perfect peace settled on her features. Her defenses are down when she sleeps, he realizes, and there is an innocence there that he hasn't seen in years. "Veronica," He whispers again, shifting a bit as the tinny noise of his cell phone begins to sound. Her eyes flutter open, and for a second, her peace remains. Her hair is rumpled and sexily falls over one eye, her skin in pink and…and yet she's still Veronica Mars. Even as realization dawns on her, his phone continues to ring. "Excuse me a sec?" He asks politely and she snorts, waving him away. The awkward silence between them lengthens as he does a frantic search for the offending mobile. Exhaling slowly, she begins getting dressed, using his discarded jumper as a shield. "Hello?" He breathes as he picks up, and she finds herself looking down at him. "Uh, no actually. I haven't. Is everything alright?" He turns to look at her, his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip, and her eyebrows rise in question. "Oh, oh God." His face is ashen, and without realizing it, she lightly wraps her arm around his shoulders, giving him a comforting squeeze. "Are they…are they Okay?" He asks, and his voice is transformed. His free hand is shaking so hard that she takes it in hers just to make it stop. "I will. Um, thank you for calling me. I-I'm sorry." As he faces her, his eyes are dead. He's entirely numb, and cold. So very, very cold.

"Logan, what happened?" She asks softly, trying to meet his gaze and elicit a response. He shakes his head, swallowing and looking down at their hands, intertwined tightly.

"They're dead." He responds after a time, not looking up; unable to look at her in the eye. "They're all dead, Veronica." His voice is as flat as his eyes and shock lights her face, but she can't process it.

"Who, Logan?" She asks, but she knows. Deep inside, she knows. She shakes her head, tears spilling out of her eyes of their own accord. "No." She cries, her shoulders quaking with the deep sorrow slowly filling her soul. "How?" They're sitting side by side, not touching, and this is the first world spoken in what seems like hours. "How did it happen?" Her cheeks are red and raw from her tears, but her voice is strong, as is her resolve.

"The bus…" He trails off, swallowing slightly, and finally looking at her directly. "The bus went off the side of the cliff, as they were coming home on the PCH." The noise rushing in her ears deafens her and she blindly grabs at his hand. Fresh tears explode down her cheeks, as she gaspingly tumbles into his arms, incoherent mumblings tripping out of her lips.

"I have to call my dad." Suddenly she's sitting up straight, lifting her head from his chest, and breaking the peace of the sheltered cocoon he has created for her. "He must be worried sick. I can't believe I didn't do this before." Rummaging through her bag she locates her phone, fumbling a bit as she punches in the numbers. "Dad?" She whispers when he picks up. "Daddy, I wasn't there. I wasn't on the bus." She dissolves into sobs again, mumbling how much she loves him and how glad she is to be alive. Logan's arm tightens slightly around her shoulders, comforting her, and as she falls into his arms he holds her, doing everything he can to keep her safe.

A/N: Sorry for those of you who read this second chapter before my little changes and add ins. I was actually listening to Rob Thomas' commentary on the pilot as I was finishing this, and I was so like, into it that I totally wasn't connected and thought I was done. Not that I did anything drastic, mind you. I just made it flow a little easier I think. I'm still on the fence on whether I should have Beav, Dick and Duncan be alive. It would make my life easier if Duncan was dead-although there could be all sorts of delicious guilt and angst there if he is…but yeah. If he's alive, I can have a juicy side storyline with him and Meg…if you guys want me to continue that far. Which I probably will even if you don't, haha. Anyway, yeah. Here's the second installment again. I hope you liked it, I really enjoyed writing it. I hope it's not too fluffy for you, but then again I associate fluff with bad writing and dialogue and I'd like to think my story transcends that, but I dunno. It's all up to you. Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_, etc etc etc. But seriously, if I said I did, seriously, what would they do to me?

_The weeks after the crash were the longest she'd ever lived. While her relationship with Logan was slowing getting stronger, it was held on a rickety balance by the deteriorating relationship between her and her father…_

"I think we just set a record." He exclaims falling back against the mattress, breathing heavy, both his forehead and chest, glistening with sweat.

"You think they have world records about these things?" She asks, suggestively wiping her mouth with the back her hand, and leaning over him, capturing his lips in another white-hot kiss. She collapses atop his him, beginning a slow ascent of kisses up his chest.

"Veronica." He gasps laughing, his fingers nimbly running up and down her arms. "Sweetheart. Not even _you_ can have this much stamina." Any more opportunity for conversation is lost as she reaches his lips. Despite his protests, he knows he can't resist her. And she knows it too.

Only later, as she lies sleeping in his arms does he allow his mind to wander. He loves her, to be sure. He'd be nothing without her, and that is possibly what scares him most.

"_You're more than you seem to be, aren't you Logan Echolls?"_ 12 year-old Veronica had asked him the first time they'd met, slightly tilting her head, which had caused her golden mane to tumble down her shoulders. She'd smiled her way into his heart that day, and though Lilly would grow to outshine her quiet dignity, he would never forget that first day. She'd been the very first person that had bothered to look beneath his flippant attitude, beneath his cynicism even, and straight into the depths of his heart. Even 5 years later, when he broke into her arms at the realization that his mother was really gone, he hadn't admitted to it. They'd never spoken about it. Not ever. He only let in people in bits. You could only get fragments of what Logan Echolls was, because that was all that he was; all that he knew how to be…the broken boy with the black eye who no one cared to believe.

Even now that his father was locked in jail, unable to hurt him, he was still haunted in the dark of night, and only with Veronica did his fear fade. He'd let her into his heart once, and she'd broken it, had it stomped all over, and he thought he'd never be able to recover. And now that she's in his arms again, he doesn't know what to think. Her eyelashes flutter, and after a few seconds her eyes open.

"Hi," She murmurs, smiling up at him, and cupping his cheek with her hand. "Hey," She whispers, sitting up, hugging him to her, nuzzling his neck. "Are you Ok?" She asks softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Her back is to the door, and the sheet she'd been using to cover herself, falls. He pulls her into his arms, and kisses her deeply, needing her to push his demons away. "Logan," She exclaims laughingly, breaking away and gazing up at him, good humor shining through her eyes. "What's wrong?" Their faces are inches apart, and he knows that with just one tiny misstep, he could lose it. Lose _her_.

"Veronica, I-" He'd wanted to finish his sentence with an _I love you_; possibly an _I can't see my life without you in it_. But as Keith bursts in the bedroom unannounced, everything he could have said gets caught in his throat. Veronica's face pales, and gulping, she pulls her sheet up, trying to hide from view.

"Hi, Daddy." She murmurs, and Logan feels their simplicity…his _last moments of perfection_, slipping away.

A/N: Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. But I had fun doing it! They're great together, and it pretty much wrote itself. I hope you liked it.


	4. Addendum: Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_, although it would be pretty damn awesome if I did.

"Ver-Veronica." Even after swallowing repeatedly, his voice is low and gravelly, his eyes trained steadily on the ground. "May I speak to you? In the hall? For a _moment_?" His voice is strangled, and as his face is pale and pained, and two splotches of red are rising high in his cheeks. He awkwardly jerks his arm behind him, gesturing her out, or maybe as a signal of his departure, and with exceeding difficulty closes the door behind him with a prominent click. Falling back onto the bed, Veronica pulls the sheet over her eyes, squinting them in mortification.

"Oh my god, did I just get caught almost having sex in my room by my dad?" She asks, her voice low, biting her lip to keep from either laughing or crying, as if she's not exactly sure which emotion is going to win. Yet.

"You were caught by your dad," He replied, kissing the top of her head and laughing a little. "I was caught by the one and only Keith Mars, private eye extraordinaire. Who, I should mention not only threw me out of here less than a month ago, but also thought I was guilty of murdering his daughter's best friend. Now _that's_ weird." Laughing softly, she leans down and kisses him. Soon, his arms are wrapped around her waist, her father in the hallway, forgotten.

"Veronica! I said in the hall. NOW." Breaking away with a gasp she is up and dressed within a matter of moments, throwing him her discarded sheet as a cover up.

"Now, if you had _folded_ this, instead of throwing it at my head," He teases, licking his lips suggestively. "We could've had a deal. And I so could've used a little Suzy Homemaker! I guess all you're good for is the sex."

"Shut up!" She exclaims laughing, and smacking him hard against the shoulder, her palm leaving a stinging red mark.

"I heard that!" Keith calls, and for the first time since the initial contact, her veneer slips.

"I have to go take care of this," She murmurs, leaning down and kissing him softly. His fingers lightly tangle in her hair, and she melts into him, their mouths now hot and insistent against each other. As his hands begin the slow creep up her back, the door bursts open for the second time.

"Veronica, I understand that you're young, and that the young have…" His voice drops off, and the enormous sigh he heaves wracks through her as well. "Urges." The word squeaks out, and his cheeks color as brightly as hers.

"Dad, I-"

"No." He holds up a silencing hand, forcing her to look down at her own, clasped demurely in her lap. "I'd like to talk to you privately about this, and since I don't have the most…flattering things to say about him, I highly doubt that Logan will want to hear them." Their eyes meet, and the younger man has the decency to gulp audibly. "Don't think I'm done with you though, Echolls." His hiss is almost like a whisper on the wind, so light that if not for the look in his eyes, Logan would have chalked up to nerves. "Get dressed, and after I…_detoxify_ my daughter, I'll deal with you." Glancing back at him, as she is forcibly dragged from the room, Veronica shrugs slowly, a wan smile gracing her lips. He mouths 'I love you'; and as Keith settles her on the couch, she can't hold back her grin. "…worried about you Veronica." Startled out of her reverie, she glances up, a protest on her lips. "Logan Echolls is not a good guy, Veronica." His voice drops as he hastily glances at her closed door. "Come on, you know this. What are you doing with him?" Memories of their past few weeks together, flash through her mind, and although she can sense her father's obvious discomfiture she refuses to back down.

"Dad, I know you're mad." She starts, smiling tightly, taking his hand within the both of hers. "Furious, even." She continues uncertainly, biting her lip. "And you have every right to be." She leans forward and brushes her lips against his cheek. "Ground me if you want to. Do whatever you need to, but I love him, Daddy. He's changed, and I can't imagine my life without him in it." Standing inside her bedroom, with his ear against the door, Logan can't help the smile slowly forming at the corners of his lips. Reaching down to open the door, Logan freezes as Keith begins to speak.

"When you were first born," He begins, cupping her cheek with his palm. "I would sneak over to your crib in the middle of the night, and just look at you, you were so beautiful." She smiles brightly, tears threatening as she looks into his eyes. "And I promised myself that I would never let anything bad happen to you." He laughs scornfully to himself, causing Veronica pause. "That didn't exactly work out the way I wanted it to, with the type of business that we do, and I've always hated myself for not doing right by you."

"Dad, come on! You've done plenty!" She exclaims standing, but his glance silences her, and she sits, moodily.

"The point is, Veronica, I haven't done enough. When Lilly died," He pauses, waiting for the sharp intake of breath, and awkward squirm generally associated with the mention of her name, but Veronica only stares back at him. "I thought I'd lost you for good."

"You'll never lose me, Dad." She mumbles, swallowing down a mysterious set of unshed tears.

"I know." He replies confidently. "Which is why, unless you end things with Logan, we're leaving Neptune." She gasps in horror, a sharp pain piercing somewhere in the vicinity of her heart.

"Dad, no-"

"Veronica," He responds slowly, looking her deep in the eyes, and taking her hand between his. "It's your decision."

A/N: Well, if it isn't the little story that could. I know you guys hate me, some more than most, but I got hit with this inspiration and thought I would go for it. While I don't appreciate getting berated for choosing not to continue, I guess I can understand where you were coming from. I hope you enjoy this, it was fun to write, and I hope to have more to add to this story soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_, yadda, yadda, yadda…

"There's gotta be another way, V." He looks panicked. She knows he looks panicked, but she can't do anything to stop that. She has a point to prove.

"What, Logan? Like moving out of Neptune? Because much as I've," Her voice drops until it is low and dreamy. _Seductive_. "Wished and hoped and dreamed for this day…leaving because of you is not an option." She leans forward slightly, capturing his lips with hers. "You're the only thing that makes it bearable." Her words are sweet, he realizes sighing, but untrue. Only a few months ago, the unbearability of Neptune _had_ been his fault.

"V-" He starts, but she shushes him, biting her lip as she slips onto his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Logan, we're not talking about this anymore. My dad will come around. I mean, have you _seen_ his shelves since mom left? They're chock full of, 'How to be a Better Father' and 'One Parent Homes: _Successful_ Solutions'."

"Which means what, Veronica?"

"Which means that not one of those books is going to tell him to uproot his 18-year-old daughter and take her away from the only place she's ever known as home right after such a large tragedy." His eyes widen. As an unspoken rule, they don't talk about the crash or anything pertaining to it. He's surprised she's hedged into this territory.

"Maybe that's why he's doing it, Veronica." He murmurs, his voice low. He's still not looking into her eyes. He can't look into her eyes.

"Hm?" She asks, leaning into him and nuzzling his neck. The scent of honeysuckle and lemons floats back to him, and for the rest of his life he knows he'll associate it with her. Veronica.

"I'm just saying, V, that maybe he's not reading the books anymore. Maybe he's just so goddamn grateful that you weren't on that bus…" His voice is breaking, and he looks away, swallowing hard. "That he doesn't care about why or who you were with. He just sees that his daughter was in danger. Probably still _is_ in danger. And he can't handle it. I wouldn't be able to handle it either." Gently shaking her off his lap, he stands, turning from her and running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm not-" She starts, biting her lip to stop herself because she knows he's right. "I'm safe when-" _I'm safe when I'm with you_.

"When, Veronica? When you're with the hooligan who's father murdered Lilly Kane? The one that you're _sleeping_ with? That he had to throw out of here a few weeks ago? Because honestly Ronnie, I wouldn't trust that guy with _my_ daughter." She breathes in sharply, the noise resonating throughout the room.

"Logan, I-"

"And the thing is," He cuts her off, laughing icily. "He's right." She gasps again, standing this time, placing a comforting hand on his arm,

"How can you say that? You _saved_ me." There are tears in her eyes, and her voice is haggard, but he knows she won't let them fall. She's strong.

"But what've you got to look forward to now? What future could you possibly have with me?" Hot tears tumble down his cheek and with a disgusted sigh he wipes them away, his eyes never leaving hers. "Sure, we can have Thanksgiving with Grandpa Echolls, Jr." His voice is mockingly hopeful, and she finds that she can't look at him when he's like this. The awful memories it brings back hurt too much. "But Mama will have to stay in the car in case he tries to _kill her_ again." White-hot rage fills his veins, and he's clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles are white. The soft tinkling of her laugh pulls him back. The edge is a frightening place, and only she can bring him back. "You're laughing now, Mars? Next you're going to tell me that losing 50 grand was a walk in the park." Her face is guarded now, and he can't blame her. More uncharted territory. Super.

"No of course not, Logan. But we're not talking about the future, here." She smiles, lopsided, and his heart constricts. "Totally easy, fluffy stuff. Nothing serious. Just fun." She leans up into him, tilting his face down to hers, intent on placing a chastely innocent kiss on his lips. As he wraps his arms around her though it is evident that this is anything but flurry.

"I love you, Veronica." He whispers as they break apart, gasping for breath. And as she looks into his eyes she knows that nothing will ever be easy again.

Author's Note: So I know. I haven't updated this story in like, a year. And I'm telling you; updates on this might be sparse, just because I haven't been motivated on it since about the _2nd_ chapter. I'm being honest. However, this is my last loose end to fix before I start working on my new stuff, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had a really fun time writing it.


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